Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
My vagina is officially offended.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
