At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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