the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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