I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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