discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
