I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
