Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
