Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
