i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
COCAINE IS GR8
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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