omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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