Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Randomize
