I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
if only i could text you this smell
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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