No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
