You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
