I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
