So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
