A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
