Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
