I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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