i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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