I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize
