god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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