you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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