If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
