is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize