So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
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