I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
