We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
