i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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