You're so nebulous sometimes
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
