Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize
