My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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