i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
