Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize