my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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