ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
