One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
