is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
