why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
