Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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