Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
