Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
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