just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize