You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
