my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
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