You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
