he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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