my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Randomize
