after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
