Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Randomize
