I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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