as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
