her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
