Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
