I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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