I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize