no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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