member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
