Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
