when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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