Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
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