I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
