oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
