never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
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