We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
