Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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