You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
