I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
