I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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