he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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